hotel room ftw
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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