I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
operation harelip BJ is a go
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Randomize