I skipped work to stalk him.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
