my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize