I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
