you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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