so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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