So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
