At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
