it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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