Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
