she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
