After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
