You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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