Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize