if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
