i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Everyone says I win the strip club
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize