listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
