I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
thus making me awesome and them whores
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
me + whiskey = a bad person
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
