pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
