That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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