I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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