she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
