hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
