Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
