I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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