Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
