So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
