Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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