if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize