I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
