He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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