like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
last night I used snow as a chaser
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
