why didn't you poke me back
Umm I'm too high to move.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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