Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
