No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize