I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
