And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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