Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
