I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
