been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Rumble strips road head = magical
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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