I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
