I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize