This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
