I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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