I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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