Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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