8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
