eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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