I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
