He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize