she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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