Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
