so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
