I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize