Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
