So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
