I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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