I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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