i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Welp...herpes.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
