do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize