He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wear drunk well.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
