Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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