Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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