Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
