It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
