He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
