Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize