Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
