I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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