I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
