The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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