Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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