That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
