Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
