Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
