So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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