Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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