so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He? As in you personified your dick?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
