K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
